Notes from the Field

 As I prepare for my next Create to Heal class, I turn to my quiet page, a large 12 x 18 inch piece of white construction paper and place the following words in the middle of the page: Next I put at the top right hand corner, Compassion. Top left is Grace. Bottom left is Forgiveness. Bottom right is Gratitude.

I look at the configuration of words before me and begin to see the pattern in the context of cancer and all that I have learned from patients and their families …

Forgiveness – I forgive my body for betraying me … this body with cancer. AND I will embrace and fight this thing with all I’ve got.

Forgiveness leads to Gratitude - A tear of Joy of understanding for … cancer is an awakening ... it is an opportunity for me to know myself better, to re-examine my faith, my relationships with family and friends and community.

 Gratitude for this newfound awareness of my life leads to Compassion – for my Self, for all that I am going through and for those around me, the caregivers, who are on this journey with me. An understanding, sensitivity, tenderness, tolerance, kindness, care and concern … which leads to ...

Grace … a natural extension of this kindness and compassion. One may have an elegance in action – like wearing high heels in a strong, confident way -  but this grace is the grace of a whole person. The feeling of peace and knowing that I am in good hands, loved and alive. 

In this moment, alive.